15th March 2011
I WAS ‘given up'
for adoption by my birth mother, so forgive me for being absolutely
disgusted, angry and insulted by Mary Kenny's article, especially
where she says she wants to use the term ‘placed for adoption'
rather than ‘given up for adoption' as this implies rejection.
I was rejected when I
was born and I was rejected again last year by my birth mother after I
traced her, so please do not tell me what phrase I can use.
There are many
adopted people who had terrible upbringings. Some wished they had
never been adopted, but left in a home because they felt it couldn't
have been any worse.
Thankfully, I had
wonderful adoptive parents who loved me very much and I will always
refer to them as my parents, but I do have a mother and a father as
When you start to
look at your past you think about the choices you have made and say
‘I could have been this' or ‘I could have done that'. Being
adopted, however, when you finally get your birth certificate you look
at the name and the first thing you think is ‘this is who I was
supposed to be'. Then, you need to know who that person should have
Let us not for one
moment place Archbishop John McQuaid on a pedestal. He is the very
reason why adopted people in Ireland are still not allowed access to
their files, medical history or automatic right of access to their own
This man had such
power that he was able to silence the American press when they wanted
to cover the stories of Irish children being exported for adoption to
I am so happy for
Joan Burton and the fact that she has found her birth mother's family
and has been made welcome by them.
The fact that she has
another photograph of her birth mother must be wonderful. But please
remember for every one adopted person with a happyever- after story,
there are hundreds who are not so fortunate.
The majority of us
are not even allowed to know our birth mother's name, where she came
from, let alone be given a photograph.
Name and address with